Gah! Idiot!
I did one of those things yesterday that makes you wish you had special powers and could rewind time.
See, I have been going nuts cleaning out our storage space in the basement over the past few days… yes it is taking days even though it is only about 4′ by 8′. You know how it is, you are busy so instead of really thinking about whether you need to keep something, into a box it goes down in the storage area! No problem! I will deal with it later!
Only we are going to want to move out of this apartment (and hopefully out of the country) next year and I just need to get our life in order. We just kept saying that we would take real time to do things right after the wedding and, well, here we are.
Anyhoo.
Just so you can get the mental picture: I was down in the basement covered in dust and sweat, no bra, hair tied up with clips- looking and feeling mighty attractive. Also sneezing and coughing from the dust and the mold.
I went outside to the garbage with yet another warped cardboard box to empty the contents into the trash and I shut the door behind me… My hand was still on the doorknob when I realized that my keys were sitting on the suitcase in the basement. Crap.
The thing is, there is no exit from the garbage area. If I had my keys, I could go up to my apartment or down to the basement. Since I had no keys, I would just rot there for hours since it was the middle of the afternoon and no one was answering my timid calls for help. And I had to pee.
So what did I do? Jumped the fence, of course. Into some strangers backyard who I was convinced would run out of the house screaming for the police, which they did not. Because no one is home at that time on a Wednesday, which you should keep in mind for the next point of the story.
I ended up on the street next to ours, which still seems strange to me. (Apparently I have a terrible sense of direction.) I walked back to our apartment building trying not to be too self-conscious with my boobies bouncing in my little t-shirt that I was not supposed to be in public in!
I got to the lobby of our building, investigated both doors thoroughly- finding both tightly shut. Dammit.
Settled in to wait for a little bit, I was optimistic that someone would come home or leave the building soon. We live right near Harvard, our building has a pretty good grad student population and they surely keep different schedules….
Ho hum…
LOTS of time passes… Jiggle Jiggle. Boy, do I ever have to pee. Yet, I am parched at the same time… isn’t that curious…
More time passes…
Okay, I can’t deal with it anymore! Time to start pushing people’s buzzers. Who has a friendly name? Certainly not Blum next door, who reported us to the building managers for having a dog that took a crap in the lobby- even though we have no dog! Avoid that one.
GAH! Turns out no one is home or too busy to respond until I get mostly done with all the apartments in the building.
Hello? What!?
Um- hi! Um, this is Jessica and I live at number X and I accidently locked myself out, HEHEHEHEHEHE…
(Silence)
So, um…. would you mind buzzing me in? Please? HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE…
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
Oh, thank you! Thank you! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE…
Classic.
August 19th, 2005 at 1:18 am
You mean I am not the only person who does chores braless…and locks themselves out when they really need to go to the bathroom?
I once locked myself out 3 hours before on a 4 month overseas holiday -and my luggage was inside. *panic* and a broken window resulted.
August 19th, 2005 at 1:22 am
Working from home, I find I always end up answering the door for a package delivery in some sort of obscene shirt that normally wouldn’t see the light of day. I’ve gotten some pretty screwy looks doing that.
Glad you at least made it home without having to find some secluded pee spot in an alley…
August 19th, 2005 at 7:44 am
Oh no! Well at least you were fully clothed (sort of). When I lived in the dorms, I once locked my roommate out when she was in the shower, and she had to come to the dining hall to find me. She was NOT a happy camper…
August 19th, 2005 at 8:14 am
that is hilarious. I’m glad you had one nice neighbor who was HOME. And hey, maybe some guy had a better day because of the boobie show.
August 19th, 2005 at 8:26 am
Yikes… at some point we all go through something like that. Thankfully my day has yet to arrive.
August 19th, 2005 at 8:45 am
Phew! Glad you got in finally! Peeing in the alley would not have been so fun, huh?
Once, while I was babysitting a 5 year old, we went to play outside and I locked us out of her house. Luckily they only live about a 5 mintue walk from my parents so we just went there. I still felt like a complete idiot. I can’t believe her parents let me come back and babysit again.
August 19th, 2005 at 8:57 am
Glad you got back in! See, sometimes it pays to be bold.
And, uh… what exactly do you mean you’re leaving the country?
August 19th, 2005 at 9:04 am
My most memorable locking out experiences were:
1. January in NB (-40 – snot freezing in my nose) – crawled through the tiny kitchen window of my parents’ house.
2. The time my cousin was visiting and she went out and locked the back door (as I had told her to do) but had chained the front door of my house (not in the instructions!). I came home with my front door key and my dog was freaking out b/c he could stick his nose through the door but couldn’t get out. My new neighbour rescued me with his tool kit. Did I mention that there was a BLOCK PARTY GOING ON AT THE TIME? hehehehhehehehe.
August 19th, 2005 at 9:53 am
To answer Meg’s question, Casey and I are dreaming about doing grad school overseas… We would really like to live abroad again and it would make going to grad school a bit more exciting!
August 19th, 2005 at 10:43 am
That is a constant fear of mine, especially since I am often inadequately dressed to leave the house. Small mercies,at least you were, for the most part, entirely clothed…have you read Stephanie the yarn harlot’s recent experience locking herself out of her hotel room? I almost peed my pants.
August 19th, 2005 at 12:31 pm
Aw…poor baby…it’s okay, it’s happened to all of us. Nice job jumping the fence tho!
August 19th, 2005 at 12:55 pm
I enjoy reading your blog and especially today with your funny narrative about getting locked out of your building. You have a great writing style and I also like your website design!
August 19th, 2005 at 4:56 pm
Why does that sound frighteningly like something I would do? Oh wait, because I did. But in a thunderstorm. With textbooks. Awesome.
August 20th, 2005 at 12:34 am
{{jiggle jiggle}}
HA! Tooooo funny. Nice work, Jess
August 22nd, 2005 at 4:56 am
Sounds like something I would do!
August 22nd, 2005 at 12:11 pm
Hee! I love your various misadventures. Glad you got in in the end!
August 22nd, 2005 at 12:50 pm
Oh no! I’m glad you got back in. I almost locked myself out of the car Saturday – thank GOODNESS one window was cracked and I managed to get my arm in far enough to unlock the door because there is nothing sadder than a pajama’d pregnant woman stranded in a pizza take out parking lot.
August 22nd, 2005 at 4:25 pm
i was really worried that your story was going to end with you getting caught peeing in the bushes or something! i guess i have a sick mind. i
August 23rd, 2005 at 3:02 pm
Glad you got back in? Which country are you thinking of relocating to?